That’s right folks, I am dedicating this post to poop.

There is something about the word Poop that has always made me smile. I actually smiled when I wrote the word just now. Now that I think about it, poop and fart are both on the same level. Yep, now I am laughing. I always thought that this was just a boy thing and that boys or men had a strange relationship with poop, but let’s be honest—girls, women and all parents have their own unique relationship with it.

Although my relationship primarily exists on the 5-year-old level, and many women would say, “Oh that’s disgusting and childlike,” I can honestly say that women are more disgusting when it comes to talking about poop.

We all know those people on Facebook that discuss their child’s poop, their child eating poop, poop in the “big boy” toilet, poop throughout the night without the pull-ups, and then graduation to the real thing on an even more consistent basis. Exhibit A, my sister:

Seriously! I have never wanted to know about that, and neither do the rest of your 623 friends on Facebook, one of which is your mechanic. That being said, there is a weird shift about poop when you become a parent. Let me also say, that I will never post anything about Bryn and Nora’s poop on Facebook. But I AM going to make one good blog post about it!

When the girls were first born, there were multiple things to worry about. You know about those things already. The list was quite long. One thing that I didn’t think I would worry about was them pooping. My mom got me going on this worry, as she would immediately ask, “Have they pooped yet?” before asking more logical questions like, “How are they?” The tough part at first was that I was always saying, “No.” Next thing ya know, I’m rooting for them to poop like I do for my fantasy football players on Sunday afternoon. My “live scoring” became a peek into the diaper every 2-3 minutes (only fantasy players will get the wit in that).

Well, as the first few days passed and I saw nothing, I started to worry that maybe their intestines were on the IR. Okay, that’s the last fantasy football reference of this post. But seriously, I started thinking that maybe something was wrong. People need to poop, it’s a natural process. However, when Nora finally pooped, what I witnessed was completely unnatural. Her poop was totally black. If our babies had been at home and I had witnessed the black “tar-like” substance in her diaper, I would have been on webMD faster than stink on shit. Speaking of stink, Nora’s first baby poop was completely odorless. Oh relax—like you wouldn’t smell your child’s first dookie, too. Twenty-days-ago-Nick would have probably said, “No flipping way. You’re insane, and incredibly disgusting.” Today’s Nick is like, “Give ‘er hell girl! Nice push! Way to go!” I know that this infatuation will quickly fade as the diapers continue to mount. They say 140-150 a week, which seems absolutely insane. We have a closet full of diapers right now that will be gone in a month at that rate.

Anyway, I was glad to be among professionals when I witnessed The First Poop. I gave the nurse a barrage of questions. What is that? It can’t be poop! Trust me, I know. She calmed me and said, “Oh, don’t worry, that’s just meconium,” to which I replied, “Oh that makes me feel a lot better.” I had no idea what that was and then quickly hit up the place that holds all of the answers, Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

Okay, so the poop is no longer black. It has changed to yellow, mustard-type poop, definitely more natural (I guess?).

My girls are growing and their poops are growing too. So much so, that they have blowouts on a more frequent basis, and the poopy linens are piling up fast. The nurses were starting to get tired of Nora’s blowouts and frequent linen changes, so they graduated her to the next diaper size, which nearly covers her entire body.

I don’t like it, but she’s gotta learn to keep her shit to herself. Bryn, keep up the good work!

Speaking of poop, we’d like to give a shout out to our friends Michelle and Chris, who just had their twin baby girls last Tuesday! At 8lbs 6oz and 8lbs 4oz, Josie and Calie are already taking poops bigger than Nora and Bryn. Oh, snap!

Finally on a more serious note, the doctors and nurses continue to be amazed by our girls… and that’s no bullshit. We had a new nurse yesterday and she was astounded by what each of them can do. Nobody can explain to us why they are doing so well, when others born at the same time, or even later, do not. We know that this is something that cannot be explained by science, just as science cannot explain why an egg, like our identical twin girls, splits.

God is the only one that can explain it. We know that they came to us in the shape that they are because of all of your prayers. We hope that you continue to pray for them as they reap the benefits. Please feel free to forward our blog to anyone else who might be willing to pray for them, too!

Much love,

Nick

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